The Nu Guide: Returning to sex postpartum
According to a study in 2019 by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, over 50% of women suffered with some sort of sexual dysfunction postpartum. This highlighted the need for sexuality education both antenatally and postnatally.
Sex after childbirth can create a lot of anxiety for new mums. The most common reported problem for new mums is feeling pain and having a tight, too loose or dry vagina.
Hormone changes can cause an increase in sensitivity of the vaginal tissues. You may already be sore from an episiotomy or perineal tear and have painful stitches. Even without any tears the vulvo-vaginal tissues are bruised and recovering from pregnancy and childbirth.
If you have had a c-section the vaginal tissues will still be sensitive due to the hormone changes so using an oil based lubricant like Nu Balm is still essential.
You can have sex as soon as you feel like you want to try. You may want to wait if you have stitches but ultimately it depends on how you are feeling.
1. Take your time
There's no magic number of days to wait until things are “perfect” like they were before. You have had a change in identity, you are now caring for a new tiny human. You are are tired, sore and up a lot in the night. Sex is often the last thing you want to do, and that’s ok.
2. Start with “outercourse”
Help reduce the angst around intercourse by starting with being intimate and touching. Try massage using an oil-based lubricant such as Nu Balm.
3. When you do feel ready try not to rush things
Try positions that do not provoke pain around your episiotomy scar, or if post c-section, positions to avoid compressing the scar. Try starting with you on top so that you can control the depth of penetration.
4. Pelvic floor exercises
These really help to promote healing, blood flow and restoration of healthy muscle function which also means healthy orgasms.
5. Talk to your partner and keep them informed about how you are feeling
Keeping communication open allows you both to not feel pressured and is a way to find other ways of staying connected through touch
